The scene of the miracle. (Joli)

The Day Noa Deane Witnessed A Miracle

Starring Some Random Dude At Greenmount

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When I think about the best surfing I’ve ever seen there’s only one wave that comes to mind. It happened about five years ago when the banks at Greenmount were crazy good. There was a four-to-six foot swell running but the six footers were pretty rare. It was dead glassy and fully lining up all the way from Snapper, down through Greeny and across to Kirra. Considering how fun it was, there was pretty much no crowd at all. Not by the usual standard that’s for sure.

So I’ve had a few waves and I’m paddling out off the back of Big Groyne when I see this random dude on a yellow board take off up at Greenmount. Even from where I was I could tell his wave was a bomb, a full six foot double up that was sucking sand off the bank like a giant fricken vacumn cleaner. There were a bunch of waves between me and him, probably five all up, so all I saw at first was his big free fall as I went over the top of the first one. Then he disappeared.

As I came up over the second wave I was wondering if he’d made it and then I see this dude just standing there in the most heaving ridiculous cave with his arms straight out like the Christ the Redeemer statue in Brazil. Just fully Jesus-posing like a mad dog. I just started screaming! Then he disappears again and as I get to the top of the third wave I see he’s still going and he’s doing the wildest mongo body contortions trying to race this big section in front of him and then he just put his arms behind his back and does the biggest soul arch I’ve ever seen.

The awkwardly majestic Hail Mary funnel Noa witnessed that day may be a distant memory but you can bet there’s still tears of hilarity streaming down his chubby cheeks anytime it pops into his subconscious. (Carey)

By this stage I was losing it, just fully laughing my arse off because this guy was doing shit in the barrel
that I’d never seen in my life. And I’m telling you he was so ridiculously deep. I’d lose sight of him and think, “There’s no way he’s gonna make it!” And then I’d get to the top of the next wave and there he’d be… freakin’ roof dragging! Like Kelly Slater in that video game man! I was just going, “HOLY SHIT!”

So I finally come up and over the last wave and this guy comes flying past me and I was just screaming at him. Just howling my head off.  As I paddled over the wave I stopped and sat up and sure enough 200 metres down the line he just flies off the back with a giant perfect swan dive. I saw him pop up and I threw my arm up at him and he was screaming too. It was probably a 20 second barrel. I paddled over four waves while he was in it.

I still piss myself now just thinking about it. I mean, some random dude who jagged a six foot double up at Greeny doing roof drags! Who does that? That was the best tube riding I’ve ever seen. It was so funny.

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Noa Deane