HARRY BRYANT VS GARETH FROM THE OFFICE

Who has the bowl on lock?

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Perhaps you’ve seen Haz hurl himself into the abyss at Cloudy? Perhaps you haven’t. But no doubt you know this cheeky Sunny Coaster of all but 21, has dedicated his life (and noggin) to one mighty mound of circumference. A perfect bowl, more perfect than Cloudbreak’s, even. Or so we thought! Harry Bryant may have gesticulated surfing’s best ever claim (refer to 7:04) but as it turns out, the honour of best bowl cut remains to be seen. Let the battle begin…

Who’s got the bowl on lock? (Nanda Ormond)

SW: Which number is better? 12 or 37?
HB: 12. Because Slater is going for his 12th World Title and it’s a bit controversial.

You never learned to surf. Describe your life today?
I’d still have a bowl cut. It’s in my genes, when I was born it was just destined. It kinda chose me. The haircut chose me.

You have to cage fight a surfer from the current WSL top 32. Who’s it to be and who wins?
I’d pick someone real gnarly like De Souza, just to see how quickly they tap me out. It’d be a race against the clock.

Sally Fitzgibbons calls and asks you to co-anchor an excercise show on TV called Surf Zumba. You down?
No I’m definitely not down. You don’t need to make a bloody TV show about it. I’ve got nothing against training, but I feel like I just got punk’d by Sally Fitz.

You’re the editor of Surfing World. Who’s on your first cover? And what’s the coverline?
Wade Goodall’s been rippin’ hell hard. I’d chuck him on the cover. With the coverline “Wade’s been rippin’.” I’d do that on every cover.

You wake up one morning inside the body of Dane Reynolds. What’s the first thing you do that day?
Go to Sally Fitz’s gym? Nah… Imagine fanging down the line of a six foot wave knowing that you’re Dane Reynolds. It would be so sick!

Bum fluff or belly button fluff?
Belly button fluff, that’s a snail trail isn’t it? They’re pretty tough I reckon.

You can teleport yourself into any session from any surf movie in history…
That massive thundercloud session at Fiji.

You get in a lift only to find you’re standing next to Donald Trump. What do you say to him?
First, I’d tell him he’s a complete and utter kook. I mean I don’t know the guy, he might be a ripper bloke but I don’t really want to meet him because he seems like the type to let one rip in the elevator. He’s a piece of a bloke, that’s for sure.

Who looks better in a bowl cut – You or Gareth from The Office?
Gareth. That’s who I’m inspired by. You’ve literally just gotta be on your bowl game 24/7. I rocked up to a party and got completely out bowled by someone and I left. I was embarrassed.

Gareth Keenan wins this round.

Interview from SW Issue #388 out now.

Hugh Wyllie