SW: You can either win the Pipeline Masters or win a fourth World Title without an event win? Which do you choose and why?
MF: Pipe Masters. Straight up. Yep. That’s easy.
Your dog learns to play pop keyboard but joins Maroon 5. Pound?
Nah, she’d pull it off for sure. She’d easily be the coolest member in the band. I’m not much of a Maroon 5 fan, they’re definitely not on my iPod but the lead singer seems to do alright for himself.
You can surf any heat from your career again. Which is it?
The heat I surfed against Dion Atkinson at Teahupoo. I was so ready to catch some big ones in that heat but I didn’t get my best wave until after the hooter. It was mixed emotions for sure. I didn’t know whether to be happy that I got a crazy one or angry ’cause I’d been knocked out.
Which number is better 12 or 37?
I’m gonna say 12. Does everyone say 12? I think 37 is a bit excessive. Twelve is a nice clean number.
You can only surf one board for the rest of your life.
It’d be a DHD 6’1”x 18 ¾” x 2 ¼” four channel pin tail. That board should pretty much get you through anything. I wouldn’t be paddling out in any surf it couldn’t handle.
You quit competitive surfing and move into an entirely new life phase, which subculture do you immerse yourself in? Felt hat hipster? Mad Huey? Big wave Dave? Company man?
I’d be the full mysto guy who just turns up in far flung places when you least expect it. Kinda like Camel. I’d be his apprentice. I wouldn’t have a beard or long hair because I’d need to keep a respectable appearance for my job as factory sweeper at the Balter Brewery.
You’re Prime Minister for a day. What’s the first thing you do?
The thing that’s really pissing me off and is really stupid is the forced closure of Aboriginal communities. I’d scrap that straight off the bat and start looking directly into what sort of progams and funding would be needed to heal and help these communities rather than just give up on them.
Due to an extreme shortage of accommodation in the entire world you have to share a room and bed with one other surfer from the 32 for the rest of the year. Who’s your new bunk buddy?
Ha ha! Wow, this is heavy. Let’s go with Micro Hall because he’d take up the least amount of space in the bed.