Illustration by Nanda Ormond

Otis Carey Gets Hypothetical!

The unlikely truth revealed.

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SW: You can only ride one board for the rest of your life what’s it to be?
OC: Twinny with channels by Luke Daniels.

You wake up inside the body of Rob Machado. Describe your day?
I’d probably get a haircut for one. Number one, skin all over. Then I’d drive straight to Rincon and go right.

Which number is better 12 or 37?
37 because the way I look at it is when you’re 12 you can’t be an adult but when you’re 37 you can be an adult and still be a child.

You’re the editor of SW… Who’s on your first cover and what’s the cover line?
I’d probably just put myself on the cover and on every other page. Actually no… I’d put like John Howard or someone on the cover. Real provocative and just downright tweaked. The coverline would probably be something about bigotry. I’d shave his head too.

If your paintings could talk, what would they say?
How do I make you feel? I just want to wig people out in a really good way, make them think about shit.

You can surf in the WSL event of your choosing – which is it to be and how do you go?
I reckon I’d surf Snapper and I’d blow every fella out of the water.

You’re the Prime Minister of Australia for 24 hours, what’s the first law you pass?
Racism becomes highly illegal. It’s 2018 and it’s time for everyone to man up.

Kelly Slater asks you to design him a tattoo. What do you give him… a Ned Kelly-Southern Cross combo?
It would probably just be a love heart with my name in it.

You and your friends and loved ones are invited by aliens to join them on a trek through space to surf the best waves in the universe. Any parting words for the poor folks left on Earth? No. I’d just pack my shit and leave without saying anything. I picture these aliens kinda skinny, with big eyes, kinda lanky, and definitely hairless. Maybe a sneaky moustache. And I’d ride something with some kind of rocket attached to it somewhere. Preferably two small ones right at the back, on the rails.

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