How To Barbeque A Duck With Homemade Flame Thrower
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Ozzie Wright – aka Ozzie Wrong – used to live a couple of headlands over from the SW office. We would often see him driving past on the way to Whale Beach with his head out the window and feet on the steering wheel so he could play his ukulele as he went. Oz is a fantastic surfer and a crafty cat, as you’re no doubt aware. His new house (much like his old house) is littered with odd robotic inventions, strange square surfboards, silver unicorn sculptures and freshly baked chocolate and banana cakes. When he makes these things people seem to like them, so we figured, let’s give him his own space in the mag. “Sure,” he said, “what do I have to do again?” Make stuff, is what we told him. “Well I just made a barbecued duck,” he said. “Bewdy,” we told him…
Step 1. The first thing you’ll need is a Grim Reaper outfit but don’t go and spend ridiculous amounts of money at the Halloween store. Simply peel off all your skin so that your skull and bones are clearly visible then wrap yourself in a black silk sheet, you can find one of those on Luke Stedman’s clothesline.
Step 2. Next you’ll need a lighter and an aerosol can (CFC free of course, always think of the environment). Spray the can into the lit flame and voila! Homemade flamethrower capable of cooking duck and burning paintings you’ve done that you hate.
Step 3. Find a duck. There are hundreds of ducks around the Narrabeen lagoon. Don’t flamethrower them though or Davo will kill you. Generally the only ducks I set on fire are ones that trespass on my property. Soon as I see that little yellow leg step over the property line… FWOOOOOSH! Goes the flamethrower and dinner is served.
Step 4. Provide meal to loving family, sleep well as hero of your household.
