How To Shoot Your Girlfriend (In A Rock And Roll Video)

There’s only one thing better than having a girl who is a super pretty rock and roll surf queen and that’s spooning the crap out of her in a freshly made bed with clean sheets and drifting off to the magical land of snu.

I’m lucky enough to be able to do this every night with my girl Mylee Grace but we also do other things together. We bake Slayer cakes together. We make little human beings together. We even recorded a record together called Mylee Grace and Ozzy Wrong Songs which has been described as “a heartbreaking work of staggering genius” by both of our mums.

Some time ago we shot a music video for the first single Cloud Over Paradise. It was so much fun that I thought I’d encourage all of you to do the same with your pretty ladies or fellas.

1. The first thing you need, obviously, is a girlfriend. If you haven’t yet fallen hopelessly in love at first sight I recommend standing at traffic lights waving a sign around that says, “Looking for a girl to love and possibly one day shoot.” You’ll have to put “…in a video clip” on the back because that’s a lot of writing to fit on one side of a sign.

2. The next thing you’ll need is a band. Any old band will do. Garage band, rubber band, bandana, band of horses, Band Aids, bandido, bandicoot, bandzilla bandstagram, clap your bands or maybe even The Rolling Stones if they’re available. With your girl and your band in the can you can then record your sickening love album full of gross but awesome love songs.

3. Pick just one from the many hit singles on your record then hire an epic director who will, and this part is crucial, work for free. For Cloud Over Paradise Mylee was thrilled to work alongside Samuel Kristofski, a visionary of unparalleled style and nuance. But if Sammy’s too busy to pick up your calls feel free to ring Robbie Warden on 0407 924 788. He’s always up for anything.

4. Concept and location will make or break your video. Be inspired, daring, bold and dangerous in your vision and choices. The concept for our shoot was to shine a big spotlight on stuff. The location was anywhere but our house because we knew we’d make a big mess and wouldn’t want to clean it up.

5. Finally, it’s important to always feature your girl rollerskating through at least four to eight scenes of your music video because as everybody knows there’s nothing better than a cool rock and roll shred queen rollerskating around a swimming pool illuminated by a giant spotlight… except for maybe spooning her in bed after the shoot and drifting off to the magical land of snu in each other’s arms.