Illustration by Nanda Ormond

Joel Parkinson Wants To Erect A Giant Gold Statue Of Greg Inglis At Point Danger


SW: Thick moustache with flat top combo or ponytail with South American hoop earrings deal?
JP: I’d take the moustache and flat-top. It’d be like 2002 all over again. Full Greasy and Lemmy.

Only 70s style single fins on tour. Who’s World Champ and what happens at Chopes?
Ricardo Christie would be the World Champ. He’d turn into Terry Fitzgerald, the full sultan, and he’d be unbeatable. As for Chopes, first one to make the drop and survive wins.

You can surf any session from your life over again? Where and when?
I’d go straight back to the big day at Fiji but with a bigger board. That was as good as surfing will ever get I reckon. Same crew too. They were the best big wave riders of all time, but even for them it was the great unknown, no one had ever surfed waves that big and that good, so everyone was freaking out and having their minds expanded. There will never be another session like that.

You’re the Prime Minister of Australia for a day. First thing you do?
I’d build a giant gold statue of Greg Inglis on Point Danger looking south toward NSW, then I’d resign and hand it all over to Occy.

The wave of your choosing to be included on tour next year. Which and why?
P-Pass for sure. Having Tahiti and Fiji on tour is great, but I want a long righthand reef barrel and P-Pass would do nicely thanks.

You never took up surfing. Describe your life right now?
I’m working as a brickie with my dad, building Mick’s house for him and taking off to surf during smoko. Oh hang on, I don’t surf, do I? Okay, I’d go fishing instead.

The WSL says all World Champions must somehow use their World Title trophies in day-to-day life to help promote the World Title trophy. What’s yours doing?
My trophy sits in the loungeroom at home, but for the first six months after I won it was full of ice and beer most of the time anyway, so I’d be happy to use it as an esky.

You’re staying alone in a dilapidated mansion somewhere in The Blue Mountains. During the night a storm hits, blowing open the windows on the second story where your bedroom is. You get out of bed to shut the windows when suddenly, down in the courtyard you see a clown standing in the rain looking straight at you… What’s your next move?
I’d yell down and ask Shaun Harrington what he was doing standing there in the rain and tell him to come up cause I had a World Title trophy full of beers.

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