Illustration by Nanda Ormond

We Asked Kolohe Andino Who He Would Cast In The Movie Of His Life

And this is what happened…

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SW: Which number is better 12 or 37?
KA: Twelve, man, for sure. Thirty-seven is just a shitty number. I love sports and a lot of good quarterbacks are 12 so I’ll run with that.

If you could be any surfer in any time in history and surf one session who and where would you be?
I’d be Andy Irons in that Blue Horizon session at Teahupoo where he tail drifts down the face and into that crazy barrel. That, to me, has to be one of the greatest waves ever ridden.

Hollywood makes a movie of your life. Who plays the following…

You: Owen Wilson, maybe in the later part of my career.

Mick Fanning: Russel Crowe, the gladiator.

Kelly: Daniel Day Lewis, bring the complexity of the character to life.

Your dad: Clint Eastwood (laughs).

John John: Mel Gibson, I don’t know why.

You start an underwear company that gets as big as Calvin Klein but the surf market is suffering. In an effort to boost sales you sponsor one man and one woman from the current WSL.  Who do you choose?
Julian Wilson obviously. Actually I’m gonna go with Michel Bourez. For the women’s, Nikki Van Djik.

Kelly Slater and you are on the beach about to surf for the 2015 World Title at six to eight foot backdoor. Just before the final he taps you on the shoulder and tells you he loves you. What’s your response?
I’d probably say, “I love you too,” but in my head I’d be thinking, “I am so confused right now.”

You can introduce any wave to the current WCT schedule, where’s it to be?
Sunset Beach. It’s unlike any wave currently on tour and demands an entirely different approach. I think it deserves to be in there.

The entire tour has to surf single fins, who wins at the end of the year?
Parko. Nobody could beat his style on single fins.

You get to the final year of your career and there’s only three events you haven’t won – Pipe, Bells and Trestles. If you can only win one, which is it?
That is gnarliest question. They’re the big three. I think I’d have to go Pipe, but only if it was huge and gnarly. It wouldn’t have to be perfect, just massive. Winning in those conditions would be badass.

Surfing changes to a team sport of guy/girl. Who’s your wingman for the year?
Courtney Conlogue. She tries her heart out every single heat and that’s what you want in a teammate. Plus, she’s a gnarly surfer. It’s a good mix.

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