FAECAL MATTER FOUND IN KELLY SLATER’S WAVE POOL?
My dream is for Kelly Slater to watch an episode of Weak Wrap and not develop an infinite hatred for me. I spend a lot of my time talking about Kelly Slater and even more time thinking about him. I don’t think I’ve ever had a Kelly Slater dream though. I have dropped LSD with John John Florence at his house in Hawaii in a dream once. Hopefully twice. Wanna hear about that dream? Didn’t think so. But what if I told you that you were there too? And you were trying to be better friends with John John then I was? And I couldn’t tell if you were actually trying that or I was just being paranoid? Does that tickle your fancy a little? Still no? If you’ve just developed an infinite hatred towards me, your name better not be Kelly but if is then you better not be a boy.